What Do I Know?

Campaign '08: The Dog Runs for Local Council

Vote for my dog. She'll keep you safe from terrorist squirrels.

In Alabama, a dog is running for mayor. In Alaska, a dog has run for governor, losing by a nose. (A rather long nose, as it turns out.)

Not to be outdone, my dog has decided to throw her hat—err, collar—in the ring as well. (If you know anything about my dog, you know she pretty much lives for attention, and she sees how much attention we pay to politicians around here.)

Plus, politicians get lots of treats, and she wants a piece of that action. So she's decided to run. Not for mayor—that's a ceremonial position here, one you have to be bred for. No, she figures she'll be most effective serving on the Local Council.

She's got a pretty good platform which, as her communications director, I've cleaned up a bit. (Like most dogs, spelling is not her strong point.) Keep reading to find out what she plans to do if elected.

Who's Elitist Now?

The American electorate cares more about which candidate is elitist than which candidate knows more about foreign policy or which candidate has a solid plan to fix the economy. At least, that's what the latest McCain ad focuses on, and I'm pretty sure John McCain understands your pain.

"I'm worried about elitism slipping into the White House," you say to yourself, setting your Bud on your stained Formica countertop and turning down the volume on the $86 TV you bought at Wal-Mart back when they were running a sale. "I can't afford shoes for the kids, but I hear Barack Obama is almost as popular as Paris Hilton. That worries me. A lot." From the television, the scary crowd noise fades to happy tinkling music: "I'm John McCain, and I approved this message."

I agree; elitism is a concern. We wouldn't want a president who thinks he's above the everyday woes of Americans. We want a president who's walked at least a few feet in our shoes, if not a whole mile.

Fortunately, Newsweek's Andrew Romano correctly identifies the elitist running for president:

It makes just as much sense to call McCain an elitist as Obama. Nevermind that the Illinois senator is a bi-racial child from a broken family raised in a modest single-parent household. Or that there are plenty of "country clubs" still unwilling to accept African-Americans as members. Or that the last "celebrity" to occupy the Oval Office was Ronald Reagan, McCain's hero. Simply imagine the memo David Axelrod could send to reporters about the Republican nominee. "Only a celebrity of John McCain's magnitude could star on blockbuster television shows like '24' and appear in big-budget motion pictures like 'Wedding Crashers,'" it would read. "These are not campaign commercials or news interviews, but major Hollywood productions--which is no surprise, given that he's pals with Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Lorne Michaels. Only celebrities like John McCain own seven homes, date Brazilian models, marry blond heiresses worth $100 million, attend Virginia's tony "old boy" Episcopal High School, forget the last time they pumped their own gas and wear $520 black calfskin loafers by Ferragamo." Get the picture?

That would be this picture:

And by the way, Paris Hilton's parents are maxed out contributors to John McCain's presidential campaign. I suspect they know a thing or two about elitism.

Out of the Frying Pan

Our heat wave continues virtually unabated. Temperatures are in the upper seventies. I've been advised the safest place to be in these conditions is in an air-conditioned cinema. Our local Odeon is playing Mamma Mia, so that's where I'm headed.

I am told that one consequence of seeing this film is the uncontrollable desire to hum ABBA tunes. Is there any known cure for this affliction?

Hipsters Unite, and Help a Culturally Challenged Blogger

A question for my readers, who are cooler than I am: Who is Perez Hilton?

(I am serious. I don't know who she is. She? He? I'm thinking of a chihuahua for some reason.)

Also, do you ever get the feeling you've been passed out for the last five years?

Related: I heard on the radio yesterday that the Smashing Pumpkins' hit album Siamese Dream was released fifteen years ago. (I actually used to be cool. Cherub Rock once rocked my world.)

It's Not the Heat, It's the Nudity

I don't want to turn this into the Blog of Death, but I took some nice photos at the churchyard in Denham this morning. I was early for a lunch date, so I wandered down the street, which you'll remember from this photo shoot, to see what was blooming. The rose bushes were planted as memorials for parishioners who've died, much prettier than stone cold monuments, don't you think?

Behind the church I noticed this row of graves, lined up in regimental order. And on the other side, Denham's contribution to the Great War:

It's a hot day, the hottest all year, so I wore a dress for the first time in two years. Wearing dresses makes me feel like a fourth grader: I want to wear a pair of shorts underneath.

The temperature hit 28C today—that's 82F. (28=82? Is that the way that works?) Ohmygod, we are so wilting here in unairconditioned Southern England. The dog doesn't even want to go for a walk it's so hot. She pretends not to see the squirrels at the feeder. Maybe she'll give it a go when the weather cools, she tells me.

I used to have a pair of shorts. I hope I didn't give them to Oxfam—today is the perfect day for shorts. At lunch one of my friends told us about seeing Prince Charles at a polo match yesterday. After that, she said, three streakers ran out on the field, and from there our conversation turned to nude beaches.

Not a bad idea, actually.

Althorp: Another Piece of History

Currently currently celebrating 500 years of history, Althorp is a reminder that history is made every day.

On Saturday I visited another "stately home" as they're known here—this one rather more stately than most, as it's the seat of Earl Spencer. As always, visiting these places isn't just an opportunity to ohh and ahh over the fancy furnishings. It's a visit through history, and for me, another thread in the rich tapestry I'm slowly piecing together during my time here. Everywhere I go, more pieces come together—a portrait, or a painting reminds me of something I've seen before.

Althorp is a close cousin to Blenheim Palace, where the Churchills live—yes, that Churchill. John Churchill was the first Duke of Marlborough, and an ancestor of the Spencers of Althorp. If John Churchill hadn't defeated the Sun King at the Battle of Blenheim, we might all be speaking French. Charles Spencer, the current Earl, has written a book about the battle (which I wrote about here).

While the Churchills are probably the most famous family in England (going back further than the upstart Windsors), the Spencers aren't far behind. One of the Spencers is memorialized at Althorp—you might remember her funeral, watched by millions all over the world.

The Diana Memorial is a peaceful place. Ironically, for a woman who was pursued by the press her whole adult life, her final resting place is an island of solitude—literally. A quiet path meanders down to the pond, which is shared by ducks and geese.

There's an exhibit celebrating Diana's life at Althorp, including artifacts from her childhood and some of her dresses, as well as the specially fitted outfit she wore as she inspected landmine fields as part of her humanitarian work.

Althorp is located about an hour north of London, near Northampton. As I passed by the entrance gates, I remembered when I'd seen them before: after the funeral of Diana 11 years ago, when the hearse was filmed on its route from Westminster Abbey, being bombarded with bouquets tossed by mourners.

Just another day in history.

See below for more photos.

Foreign Policy Chops

The conventional wisdom is that John McCain eats foreign policy chops for breakfast, while Barack Obama is a naif who'd better fatten up his passport if he wants to be taken seriously in the world arena. I've never believed that myself, having read a thing or two that Obama has written, but the average American believes this to be so, since they don't read my blog.

Two articles I read today dispute this, one in the Jerusalem press and the other at Slate magazine. Here's the Jerusalem Post:

In March, on his whirlwind visit to Israel, Republican presidential nominee John McCain, one of whose primary strengths is said to be his intimate grasp of foreign affairs, chose to bring along Sen. Joe Lieberman to the interview our diplomatic correspondent Herb Keinon and I conducted with him, looked to Lieberman several times for reassurance on his answers and seemed a little flummoxed by a question relating to the nuances of settlement construction.

On Wednesday evening, toward the end of his packed one-day visit here, Barack Obama, the Democratic senator who is leading the race for the White House and who lacks long years of foreign policy involvement, spoke to The Jerusalem Post with only a single aide in his King David Hotel room, and that aide's sole contribution to the conversation was to suggest that the candidate and I switch seats so that our photographer would get better lighting for his pictures.

Again, this view of Obama doesn't surprise me at all, yet it apparently does surprise many in the mainstream press. Fred Kaplan argues it may be time for a reassessment of the two candidates' foreign policy chops by whoever it is that determines conventional wisdom. (I suspect it's the same Hollywood mogul who financed the latest Batman movie, but that's only conjecture.)

It may be time to reassess this narrative's premise—or to abandon it altogether and simply examine the evidence before us. Quite apart from the gaffes, in formal prepared speeches, McCain has proposed certain actions and policies that raise serious questions about his suitability for the highest office. As president, he has said, he would boot Russia out of the G-8 on the grounds that its leaders don't share the West's values. He would form an international "League of Democracy" as a united front against the forces of autocracy and terror. And though it's not exactly a stated policy, he continues to employ as his foreign-policy adviser an outspoken, second-tier neoconservative named Randy Scheunemann, who coined the term "rogue-state rollback" and still prescribes it as sound policy.

He goes on to state why all McCain's ideas are really bad, worse even than George Bush, who the Jerusalem Post writer takes a dig at as well.

Why is it so difficult to break past this meme? Why are people willing to trust Republicans on foreign policy, even when the last eight years have been a foreign policy disaster and the current Republican candidate doesn't understand basic geography?

My fellow citizens of the world seem to grasp this nuance—they know which candidate understands Europe and the Middle East, and the intracacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. But the talking heads—and typing heads—of the American media insist on their pre-agreed narrative despite mounting evidence to the contrary.

This is why I hope Obama doesn't turn to an acknowledged foreign policy chopper like Joe Biden when he makes his VP selection in the next couple of weeks. I hope he stuffs the old narrative into the net the same way he nailed a three-pointer from, as one observer said, "Baghdad", by choosing a second-in-command with no foreign policy experience. He must reject any notion of his own non-existent weaknesses in foreign policy. Choosing Biden or Hagel will only reinforce the stale stereotype of Obama as naif.

It's time for the American media to accept terms of the debate that include the fact that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country, and that a League of Democracies is a really bad idea.

So here's the new narrative: Obama doesn't need foreign policy chops. He already has them. John McCain, on the other hand, really needs to enroll this fall in Foreign Policy 101. Pass it along.

Friday Cow Blogging

Some cows are shy, especially when they're having a bad hair day.

Now That's a Mess o'Potamia!

You know how a couple of weeks ago the American press was all down in the dumps, going on about how Barack Obama can't be made fun of? The problem wasn't that there was no humor angle to Obama; the problem was the wrong people were trying.

When you really want to take the piss out of someone, you outsource it to the Brits. Hence:

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

Thank you. Thank you verra verra much.

Read the whole thing, and try not to weep.

Get Off My Lawn, Part II

So I read on Time's website that Banksy has been unmasked. It's hard to describe my excitement level. Yawning would imply more open-mouthed interest in Banksy than I can possibly maintain.

I suspect I'm the only person living within shouting distance of the London Orbital who doesn't appreciate the artistic talents and clever mystiquey-ness of Banksy, the anonymous graffiti artist who's plastered his "artwork" all over—well, I really don't know where it is. I've never bothered to read any of the many blog posts or online newspaper articles about him. In fact, for the longest time I suspected he must be related to Pudsey. Or maybe a character in Mary Poppins.

I do hope that if Banksy is really exposed, maybe he'll just stop with the graffiti. I hate graffiti, even graffiti that sells for millions of dollars and is described as ironic and witty.

There. If you had any lingering doubts, it is now confirmed that I. Am. Not. Cool.

What Do Londoners Know About Barack Obama?

Answer: Not much.

I guess that puts that speech to 200,000 screaming Berliners in perspective.

The Great Debaters: Injustice, and Redemption?

Last night I saw the powerful film The Great Debaters, starring and directed by Denzel Washington, produced by Oprah Winfrey, also starring Forest Whitaker and the young Denzel Whitaker.

The film is based on the true story of the historically black Wiley College debate team and its coach, Melvin Tolson (played by Washington). In 1935 Texas was part of the Jim Crow south, a place where Negro men were called "boy" regardless of their age or the fact they spoke seven languages. Justice was for white people; blacks got a beating, if they were lucky, a lynch mob if they weren't.

Of course, set against the mental backdrop of Barack Obama's historic race for the presidency, an achievement that owes much to his skill at oratory, it was impossible not to do the math: 2008 minus 1935. In just over 70 years we've gone from a time when "In Texas, they lynch Negroes" is a factual statement to a time when "In Texas, Barack Obama won the Democratic caucus" is also factual.

"In Texas, they lynch Negroes." That was the phrase the young James Farmer (later one of the civil rights movement's leading figures) used to open his arguments in the film's climactic final debate with Harvard. It's hard to watch a film like this, to be reminded of how recently American blacks were second class citizens, with second class justice, second class education, but first class minds. The film deftly inspires heart pounding fury and fear, yet addresses the issues obliquely through the format of classic debate subjects of civil disobedience and the role of government.

I found my rage turning to hope, though, when I thought about the television clips I'd just seen, of Barack Obama being driven to the airport by Jordan's King Abdullah, of another leader correcting himself after nearly granting him the title of "president". In the film, the blacks lived in neat white houses and argued whether the Fireside Chats of President Roosevelt were a primary source. In reality, a black family may soon live in the White House; a black man may become the most powerful leader in the world.

That doesn't mean an end to injustice for African Americans—it's important to remember that the skin color of the occupants of the White House doesn't change the situation for millions of black Americans. More black men will still be in prison than in college. More black families will still live in poverty than in wealthy Texas suburbs. Nooses will still hang from ancient oak trees in places like Jena, Louisiana.

I hope Barack Obama is elected president in November because I like his policies. But I also crave his election as an act of redemption, because so many were never allowed to dream of such a thing, the James Farmers and the Melvin Tolsons. Or, to quote Langston Hughes, a contemporary of Tolson's,

O, let my land be a land where Liberty
Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,
But opportunity is real, and life is free,
Equality is in the air we breathe.

(There's never been equality for me,
Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

Rent the film, if you haven't seen it. And read the American Legacy article that inspired the film. And imagine that mighty dream of Langston Hughes.

Run, Dog, Run!

Her Indian name is Running Dog.

We went to our local Iron Age hillfort on our walk Sunday. The camp, as it's called around here, was ringed with patches of purple loosestrife, the next in a long string of purply flowers that bloom here.

Again, I am struck by how lucky we are to live here. My dog agrees; she is very happy that we put her on a plane all those years ago and brought her to this fine country, filled with fox scent and fat grey squirrels and tall tall grass.

This reminds me of what my nephew said, after seeing the movie Prince Caspian recently: "Magic only happens to British kids."

So it does.

Geography Lessons

John McCain still can't get his geography straight. My suggestion that he hire Daughter Number One stands. But only if he'll pay her more than a first year teacher in Louisiana, where she'll be teaching her students that Iraq and Pakistan do not share a border.

In other news, Czechoslovakia still doesn't exist.

From the Front

Yesterday I got an email from a sailor serving in Kabul, and he's given me permission to post this. I thought you all would like to see what the people on the ground there are thinking, and what kind of people join the military. I think he nails it when he says they want intelligent discussion and results:

Just got to see Sen Obama on his way from the US embassy in Kabul. You should have seen the security coverage, several Blackhawks circling as his Chinook came in and following his motorcade out. Though seeing him (from a distance) out here is a thrill, even more exciting was the crowd of service members from many nations who waited for a momentary glimpse. Of course, out here (almost) any excitement is welcomed in the stretches of boredom that accompany duty in Afghanistan, but as we waited for something to happen for over an hour the discussion of everyone's feeling and thoughts for the election and Afghanistan's future revealed just how much people out here are pinning their hopes on the US to make a good call this November and for the next president to get things done to recover from recent setbacks. These are the guys and gals who have been on multiple combat tours, some here, many in Iraq, and sound bites about "Cutting and Running" or "Bring It On" don't go far. They want intelligent discussion and results. I hope American voters are smart enough to demand the same for the next few months, and the next four years.

As everyone focuses on each little shift in campaign strategy, each media story of the day, I hope they remember that momentary disappointments or elation need to be kept in the context of the folks dying out here. Lost another Coalition soldier yesterday afternoon, and it has been a rough week for civilian casualties in the crossfire with a resurgent Taliban. Very glad Sen Obama knows this is where he should be, if only for a day or two.

As one British Sergeant exclaimed, "I just got a photo of the next President of the United States!" I do hope he is right.

I hope he's right too.

UPDATE: The next day he sent a photo of him with Obama, and said he got to meet him along with some of the other troops. Which puts to lie this viral email that's going around.

WDIK Location Quiz

Can you guess where we visited today?

Here are the usual hints:

1. Something profound happened here on Christmas Day, 1642.

2. This event would eventually change science—known back then as "philosophy"— forever.

3. It also changed maths—specifically, the theory of fluxions—and really pissed off a guy named Gottfried.

4. There's an apple tree in the garden there. Click below to see one of the most famous apple trees in the world.

5. But first, if you read Neal Stephenson's trilogy The Baroque Cycle you'll know exactly where this is, and why there is graffiti on the walls of the house.

Friday Cow Blogging

Normandy cows enjoy their sea views.

The freckled cows of Normandy are famous, appearing on postcards throughout the region. (I sent a few to the USA. Be patient; French mail is not to be rushed.)

While the human toll of the Allied invasion in 1944 is apparent as you travel through the region, what is not so obvious is that the numbers of these pretty cows was also decimated by the fighting. Bombs do not discriminate between beast and man.

These spotty cows lived up the road from us, enjoying the sea breezes. I decided that if I had to be a cow, I'd like to live in Normandy, right on the coast.

In other beasty news, be sure and check out the 200th edition of the Modulator's Friday Ark.

Obama bin ein Berliner

Barack Obama will be in Berlin next Thursday, speaking at the Victory Column, which is famous for its appearance in U2's video of Stay (Faraway So Close). (Possibly the greatest song ever.)

I'd give anything to go, but I have to be here on Friday. So I don't know if it's possible. My friend from Prague (you know, in that country that John McCain can't seem to remember exists) will be there. So maybe she'll take some photos.

Sigh.

I was in Berlin, after the wall fell but before reunification. This would be an excellent time to revisit it. He'll be coming to the UK also, but there will be no public appearances. I'm keeping my ear to the ground, though.

Czechoslavokia Watch

Yesterday I wrote that John McCain once again mentioned the non-existent Czechoslovakia. Last night in New Mexico he did it again, according to Ben Smith at Politico, and confirmed by Fbihop, who was at the event in Albuquerque.

Does he have a birthday coming up? Could someone give him a globe? One manufactured since 1989, preferably.

Too bad he doesn't "go on the internet"; I'd send him a link to the Czech Republic wiki.

Mobile Phones (or Cell Phone To You Yanks)

Love them or hate them?

Put me in the hater category. I had one, for emergencies and for contacting home when I needed a pickup at the train station. Or to ask if we needed anything at the grocery store, etc.

But I hated that people assumed that because I had a mobile, they should call me on it instead of at home. I'd never hear it, for one thing, since my handbag was always in a closet somewhere. Plus when I'm out, I do not want to talk to you unless you are asking when you should pick me up at the train station. Or warning me to avoid the M25 because it's full of parked cars.

When I worked on campaigns, I used a cell phone or two, and I could see the usefulness of it. But having to use a cell is one aspect of working life I am happy to give up. I really hate that annoying beep that tells you someone called, or that you have a message. And I can't text for shit.

While we're on the subject, I don't especially like voice mail either, though I love caller ID (but don't currently have it, damn BT!). I also never use a phone book.

Oh, and get off my lawn.