You know how when there's a nasty bug going around you stop inhaling around others, avoid touching surfaces, give snot-nosed babies the Evil Eye? Well, there are a couple of blog memes going around, and I've been treading lightly around the blogosphere hoping I wouldn't be infected. But one of Chris's spawns has coughed on me.
I was hoping I'd at least get the easier of the two, the Meme of Four, but no, I've come down with a bad case of the Meme of Seven. (Ezra was right; why aren't memes interesting these days?) Not doing a meme when tagged would be like breaking a chain letter and setting myself up for a lifetime of disappointment.
So, in order to keep my meme slate clean, here goes:
Seven Things To Do Before I Die: (Well, this is bloody depressing, isn't it?)
• Spoil my grandchildren (but not anytime soon)
• Start a new blog meme
• Publish a blockbuster novel
• See the end of factory farming
• Absorb more knowledge
• Celebrate my 100th birthday
• Decide what I want to be in my next life
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
• Write a song
• Understand networking
• Dance
• Say no
• Play basketball
• Think of more examples in this category
Seven Things That Attract Me To Blogging:
• The memes (It's okay to lie in memes, isn't it?)
• The writing of others
• Writing without an editor (other than my own internal editor, BitchFace)
• Writing with an audience
• The comments
• The pie-fights
• The huge paycheck (What, they're not paying you?!)
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
• "Want to go for a walk?" (said with a lilting voice, while rattling a lead)
• "Don't step in my dirt!" (said with a glare, while holding a broom)
• "George Bush is a twat." (I don't actually say that often, but I thought it would attract interesting googlers. That's the point of this meme, isn't it?)
• "What do you mean, you need 4 dozen cookies this morning?" (muttered to my daughter in an exasperated voice)
• "I heard on BBC Radio 4..." (stated in a know-it-all voice)
• "You're a pretty little cow, yes you are!" (uttered in a baby voice)
• "I'm so sick of these damn memes!" (typed in a pissed off voice)
Seven Books That I Love:
• All the Pretty Horses
• The Rough Guide to England
• The Poisonwood Bible
• One Morning in Maine by Robert McCloskey
• Anything by Susan E. Phillips (except her last book)
• Lamb by Christopher Moore
• Anything by Peter Lefcourt (except the ones I haven't read)
Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again Twice:
(I rarely watch movies more than once.)
• About a Boy
• Sound of Music
• Fight Club (Yes, "Fight Club" and "Sound of Music" can be in the same list.)
• Vicar of Dibley Christmas Special (Technically not a movie, but I watched it twice on the plane and laughed so hard everyone was like "I want to watch what SHE'S watching!")
• new version of Pride and Prejudice (Okay, I've only watched it once, but I WOULD watch it again.)
• Life is Beautiful (in Italian)
• This category sucks. So do lots of movies. (i.e., Lost in Translation)
Seven People I Want To Join In Too:
• The first seven Chatty Kathys who read this. (You know who you are, and so do I, so don't disappoint me, or you'll get no postcards in the mail.)
