Lately I've been receiving some strange looks when I take the dog for a walk. Maybe it's because I'm one of those people who talk to their dogs.
It's all fairly normal, though, similar to any conversation you'd have with a four year old: "Come on, let's go to the woods." "No, not those woods, the new woods." "That's a duck. They don't bite." "That's a swan; they spit." "A Bewicks swan...why, does it matter?"
Not at all like the man I overheard in Sam's Club one day, having a serious conversation with the Kikkoman's.
I've been thinking of teaching her sign language, but throwing signs to a dog might also be construed as weird, or downright anti-social, for which they have ASBOs here, or anti-social behaviour orders. Personally, I can't think of anything more social than talking to your dog, but this is a country where the government limits the size of teddy bears, yet looks the other way when people drive 159 mph.
They also have signs everywhere that say "Keep Your Dog on a Lead", which I scrupulously obeyed, until I noticed no one else did. There were dogs running loose all over Regent's Park, packs of them, big dogs, little dogs, dogs with spots, dogs with hats, dogs Dr. Seuss hadn't even imagined.
One day I heard a little boy ask his dad, "What does that sign say?" "Keep. Your. Dog. On. A. Lead." the father read. "What's a lead?" the little boy asked. As the father patiently explained, several dogs milled around, none encumbered by leads. I knew what was coming next, but no, even the little boy understood the grey areas of the English law better than I.
As I said to my dog just the other day, "It's amazing to think our common law actually derived from the British system, as many differences as there are, particularly when it comes to interpreting the impact of various social legislation."
She seemed to agree, although some days, you'd think I was just talking to the soy sauce.
