Tony Blair has asked the Queen to dissolve Parliament, and hold a new election on May 5. She agreed, so now I'm going to ask if she'll dissolve Congress and give us a new election too. Couldn't hurt.
Ever since Tom DeLay called for open season on duly appointed judges, I can't bear to watch my erstwhile countrymen wringing their collective mice over the fecund mass of American politics. Tom DeLay by all that's right and holy should be slapped up on that cross he's so fond of invoking, and the fact he hasn't been makes me examine my citizenship options.
So I'm glad there's another election coming up, another chance to make things right. And no exterminators, or Terminators, or holy-roller foot-washers in the mix.
I still haven't figured out British politics enough to hazard a guess on the outcome; plus my miserable showing in past U.S. elections proves I don't really have a clue even when I know the rules. To a casual observer, the election seems to be tightening, as they say. Polls put Labour a mere three points ahead, but a closer look puts the election a bit further apart than a single digit number would indicate.
Labour currently holds a whopping 161 seat majority, out of the total 646 seats. That's a lot to make up, and it's doubtful Conservatives can gain even enough seats to force a hung government. A BBC pundit maintains they'd need a 6 point advantage just to achieve that, and a 10 point lead to have an out and out majority.
It gets even murkier when you read a poll that says 41% are undecided, but among those certain to vote, 39% will vote Conservative, 34% Labour, and 21% Liberal Democrat.
The main problem for Labour seems to be that they've done such a good job of cleaning up the Tory mess, there's not much left to get their knickers in a wad over. After all, they've been in office eight years; if there's something left to fix, why haven't they got round to it by now? Access to health care has improved since the dark days of Margaret Thatcher and John Major, yet there's a pesky outbreak of MRSA stalking hospital wards. Nanny State Labour, naturally, is blamed for the shortcomings of hospital matrons. Then there's Margaret Dixon, the woman who supposedly had her shoulder surgery canceled seven times by harried hospital staff. Conservative leader Michael Howard trotted her out like a misbegotten NHS poster girl, but the public soon lost their taste for such personal politics. (A "Swift Boat Veteran for Truth" she was not.)
The main problem for Conservatives (they don't like to be called "Tories" anymore) seems to be their leader, Michael Howard. He comes off as ineffectual, bobbing from one issue to another, never quite willing to give Labour a proper jab. He's got a simpering smile, too, and is soft-spoken. (I'm trying to say he's effete without using the "ef" word.) Next to him, John Kerry looks like a towering beacon of manliness and conviction.
The Liberal Dems get my wishful-thinking vote. (Remember, bloggers aren't journalists, so don't look here for impartiality.) Their leader, Charles Kennedy, has a refreshing Scottish accent I'd like to hear more of, plus he's about to become a new dad. The under 30 crowd seems to be their stronghold, plus Brian Eno, of Roxy Music fame. He's created a nice pink website for them. With friends like these, you say... but pink is worn by politicians of all stripes here. I've seen Tony Blair wearing a pink tie, and Michael Howard just oozes pink. While that would never do in America, here it helps the candidates blend in. In London, pink is the new black. The entire populace looks as if they mistook Pepto Bismol for fabric softener.
But we were talking politics, not fashion—although there are those who'd say the two are twinned. Brown, I just heard on BBC Radio, is the color of fear. When things aren't going so well, we encase ourselves in familiar brown. The problem is, I like brown. It goes much better with my red hair than pink, so I'm hoping for a recession. (I'm also hoping British sterling takes a dive against the dollar, but I doubt Gordon Brown would allow that either.)
I'm still baffled as to what the issues are. God, gays, and guns don't really resonate here; makes you wonder why our ancestors fled in search of religious tolerance. (They must've anticipated the joy of tooling around the New World in a Chevy crew cab pickup, assault rifle nestled at their side.) Nor does the war seem to be much of an issue. Neither Labour nor the Conservatives seem to want to discuss it, which is understandable. And with the Wars of the Windsors going on, the media have quite enough war news without mentioning it either.
I'm looking forward to observing from afar, knowing the fate of the free world doesn't rest on the outcome. Next season's in-colours might very well, though, in which case I'll be crossing my fingers for Tories. Go earth tones!
