10:05 Camilla leaves Clarence House (where she slept alone last night, sources tell me) for Windsor. Waves cheerily from rear seat of luxury vehicle, not a Rover, unfortunately. Crowd is thin. Must all be at Tory election event in Barking Bottom. Haven't they heard this is the Wedding of the Century (So Far)?
10:15 Merchants of Windsor making a killing on wrong-dated merchandise.
10:29 Husband changes channel. Fight ensues.
10:42: VH2 plays ancient Pearl Jam tune. After Jeremy blows his brains out, control of the TV is won and live blogging continues. Seems Sting has sent his regrets. But Tony Blair will be there, and one metrosexual is as good as another.
11:04 Weather report: 44 degrees F, wind 18 mph.
11:05 It's being reported that Camilla, or Milla as she's known to her friends, will have weights in her hem. Thank god, no one wants to see the soon-to-be royal knickers.
11:32 A protester who appears to be a priest is claiming the Wedding of the Century (So Far) is in fact illegal. I think I saw this guy among the Terri Schiavo protesters.
12:10 The Parker-Bowles contingent have arrived by coach (bus) from Windsor Castle. Laura Parker-Bowles appears to be wearing twigs on her head.
12:13 Three official objections have been lodged at Windsor Town Hall. (Against the wedding, not the hats.)
12:20: The Windsor contingent have arrived, showing much better taste in headwear. Prince William, however, appears to be thinning on top.
12:24 All three objections have been dismissed.
12:28: The Prince and his bride arrive, in a Rolls, (not a Rover), no necking on the way over, not even hand holding.
12:29: The Dress: Oyster silk overcoat, chiffon dress. White!!! An enormous hat, with a few white-dyed tasteful weeds, but no twigs, thank god.
12:32: Now that the secret of the dress has been revealed, the next question is: Will they do a walkabout?
12:37 Historical note: This is the first time a future monarch will have been married by civil ceremony. The official conducting the marriage ceremony is a local girl, Claire Williams, a divorced mother of three.
12:40 One woman has come all the way from Florida for the Royal Wedding. Why am I not surprised?
12:50 The deed is done. Mrs. Parker-Bowles entered the Guildhall as a mistress, she left as a married woman. Which means, there is one less Foreign Tart in Britain.
2:30 Skip to religious ceremony at St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. Camilla, Mrs. Windsor, has changed her dress, which takes most of the media covering the event by surprise. This time it's a long coat over a chiffon dress, a sort of gray/oyster combo that looks quite lovely on HRH the Duchess of Cornwall. New headgear, a subtle arrangement of weeds, looks lovely too.
2:31 Why do Anglican church officials get to crossdress, when they won't allow gays to be clergy?
3:06 Blah blah blah, we promise not to fool around on each other, no sign of whether Mr. Parker Bowles, who is in the audience, smirks at this.
3:08 They sing My Country Tis of Thee, only with different words.
3:22 After the ceremony the newly blessed couple take a walkabout, greeting the guests who didn't rate a sitdown inside the castle. HRH the Duchess of Cornwall and former royal mistress looks right nice, except for a bit about the teeth. All in all, a lovely to-do. Wish I'd bought a tea towel or something.
