What Do I Know?

And Speaking of Smoke

One of my neighbours had a fire at his place last night.

Those other neighbours, the Windsors, are acting up again too. Charles and the boys held a press conference, but apparently all these years of being a public figure hasn't taught Charles to LOOK FOR MICROPHONES before calling the press "bloody people."

I know America hasn't set a good example lately with our democracy, but are my new countrymen not disgusted with their monarchy yet? Isn't it time to put them out to pasture? 

Disagreement welcome.

At Last! Something We Can All Disagree On!

Tired of the lockstep agreement in the left-wing blogosphere? So am I. That's why I was glad to see my homeys have grown disagreeable. Amanda at Pandagon weighs in against the ban on smoking proposed in Austin, as does Norbizness. Lindsay is in favor, she thinks, and Rox shoots and ducks.

I'm in favor of smoking bans, though it's been so long since I've been to a smoky bar I forget why I'd ever want to go. I wear contacts, and smoke-filled rooms equal torture. No, I don't use that word lightly. It's agony to be around smoke, so if I don't have my coke-bottle glasses with me, I head for the exit when people light up.

Not being able to participate in something my peers can is discrimination, I submit. Who knows how many jobs I've lost out on because I couldn't join my colleagues in their smoky inebriation? How many jaw sessions I could only hear about the next day, after my turn to weigh in had done gone. Heck, I'd probably have a much better grasp of the current slang, and not use words like "homeys" to describe my peers if only I could get out more.

I'm glad, though, there are people who disagree with me, right here in my own blogosphere! We need more of this disagreement. We were starting to sound like, well, right-wing parrots.

A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Waste

I read this story in The Guardian this morning, about a paralyzed man who is able to control a robotic arm with his mind. Sounds like science fiction, but doctors have tapped into his brain waves using a brain implant called "BrainGate" and electrodes attached to his sensory motor cortex, which produces the neural signals that say "move!"

A computer deciphers the brain waves, and in turn moves the objects in the manner requested by the patient. In one experiment, he was able to remove sweets from one person's hand and drop them in another. He's been using the computer game Pong to improve his skills. Eventually, scientists hope to make it possible for him to control the lights, his phone, and other devices.

This sounds like the ultimate couch potato gear, but it will likely be life altering for thousands of paralyzed people whose brain cortex works fine, but whose spinal cord is no longer able to assist in movement.

This is good news; no argument there. But how does one person's ability to control his mind, and by extension his surroundings, apply to other issues being debated, in some instances, with as little thought as it takes to pick up a sweet?

Among the nonsense being churned out by "keep Terri alive" advocates, there is one argument that gives a thinking person pause. Disabled rights advocates have sighted a slippery slope, whereupon allowing one disabled person to die devalues the lives of every other disabled person. They fear those with physical disabilities will see their own lives as worthless, or that others will, and strides made in assistance to the disabled will halt.

But there's been a misdiagnosis: Instead of a slippery slope argument, it's a classic apples and oranges dispute.

The issue of whether to allow Terri Schiavo to die naturally isn't about physical ability, it's an argument about the mind. In poor Terri's case, it simply doesn't exist. With no brain cortex, or only a few disjointed neurons where it should be, she couldn't possibly make her wishes known to a computer or any other device. Indeed, she's incapable of having wishes, period.

The disabled, on the other hand, have fully functioning minds, or sometimes less severe brain damage that results in cognitive loss, yet not nearly the total loss of cognition that poor Terri has. Even those with a significant amount of brain damage can be self-aware, and have wishes about their own lives and comfort.

Comparing the two situations is disingenuous, and devalues disabled people by assuming a disability is by definition mind-altering. There is no slippery slope here—unless you want to talk about the slippery slope whereby one person's right to refuse medical treatment is ignored, and soon we all will be forced to undergo dramatic medical procedures, such as chemotherapy and CPR, when, with fully functioning minds, we wish not to.

Indeed, all paralyzed people could even be forced to accept the BrainGate implants, for their own good, of course.

Now there's a slippery slope I don't want to head down.

Wednesday Food Blogging: Lemon and Rosemary Flatbread

When life hands you lemons, make Lemon and Rosemary Flatbread. I saw this recipe in my Waitrose Food magazine, supplied by a chef at The Artichoke Restaurant in Amersham. Since I love lemon flavored anything, I decided to give it a go on Easter Sunday. It was delicious, aromatic and zesty.

My dog thought so too. She helped herself to the second piece the next day while I was out, spoiling my plans to have it with tomato soup. Chef Laurie Gear serves it with Watercress Soup & Mushroom and Spinach Beignets, which I'll try another day.

Now, who says vegans only eat rabbit food?

Consider This an Open Thread

My daughter tells me I'm getting boring. Too much quoting, she says, and she's right. I've got Lazy Blogger Syndrome, a complication of Spring Fever.

No one's paying to hear my opinion on someone else's blog post. (I mean "paying" in a figurative sense, where time=money. No, unwary Schiavo Googlers, you won't be hit with a bill, but you might remember me in your prayers.) I've even resorted to blogging on COMMENTS at other blogs. How lame is that?

Forgive me. I'll try to do better.

For today, I'll shut my eyes to the rampant hypocrisy that's available for the clicking at any blog on my blogroll, not to mention the Times, WaPo, or CNN. We do, after all, have Hypocrisy Watch for that. Big Brass Blog is all over it, too. Just the thought of trying to compete with such blatant wisdom sends me straight to Dave Barry's Blog.

I'll ignore my email, rife with potential links, not to mention tempting pharmaceuticals and investment advice.

There are bigger stories to cover, right in my front yard! I woke to a flood this morning, which almost wiped out the odd phallic plant I noticed growing by the ditch the other day. (Ditches are called "streams" here, or the more lyrical "bourne," but I'm from the South, and we don't go in for such pretension. Unless we're picking out flatware.) At first I thought it was a snake, and locked the car door (on the off-chance one of those giant leaps in evolution had occurred) but then I noticed it seemed to be in a vegetative state. (No idea if it left a living will.)

There's also a wedding coming up, as my regular readers are aware. When we last left Charles and Camilla, they'd just announced Mum wasn't attending the wedding, a stale plot line I heard on The Archers just last week! I apologize for leaving in media res, but not even the Royals can top the dysfunction in the House of Bush lately. I promise more coverage; after all, I'm perfectly situated to cover the goings-on, with a bird's eye view of Windsor. (In the sense that, if I went on to my roof, climbed a very tall ladder, and looked through a 20-foot periscope I could probably see Windsor Castle. On a clear day, anyway.)

We've been promised an election soon, too, but I'm baffled. The main parties seem to be courting the maternity vote, with Labour promising to extend maternity leave from six months to nine, and the Tories promising to grant another £50 in maternity pay. The Liberal Dems have all offered to babysit on Saturday nights.

There's other spatting going on, like whether or not we should take Jamie Oliver's advice and feed school kids healthy food instead of something called "Turkey Twizzlers," but no one's talking about IMPORTANT issues, like gay marriage and war medals. (In a country where not even the crown prince can marry the love of his life in the church, do you really think they're going to let Bob marry Nigel?)

Speaking of Jamie, it's Wednesday, and food blogging awaits. Later, we'll revisit the Windsors. But not until the weather clears up.

Send Me Money Or I Eat This Potato!

I found this potato on Easter Sunday, which I think increases its eBay value. I thought it looked a bit like an abstract Madonna and Child, but it also has that fetal-quality that's so hot these days.

If anyone can name my little potato, I'll split the eBay profits with you. Foodie (aka Protector of the Potato), I think this falls within your realm.

And hurry, my daughter really wants a pony.

Why Isn't "Hypocrisy" Spelled Like "Democracy?"

No, I'm not going to say "I told you so!" But I did:

Link: List of Schiavo Donors Will Be Sold by Direct-Marketing Firm.

WASHINGTON, March 28 - The parents of Terri Schiavo have authorized a conservative direct-mailing firm to sell a list of their financial supporters, making it likely that thousands of strangers moved by her plight will receive a steady stream of solicitations from anti-abortion and conservative groups.

"These compassionate pro-lifers donated toward Bob Schindler's legal battle to keep Terri's estranged husband from removing the feeding tube from Terri," says a description of the list on the Web site of the firm, Response Unlimited, which is asking $150 a month for 6,000 names and $500 a month for 4,000 e-mail addresses of people who responded last month to an e-mail plea from Ms. Schiavo's father. "These individuals are passionate about the way they value human life, adamantly oppose euthanasia and are pro-life in every sense of the word!"

Hypocrisy: Rhymes with democracy, just spelled—and smells—differently. The Schindlers and their "spokesman" "hitman" are perfectly free to raise all the money they want. But do they have to accuse the other side of being motivated by greed when they do it?

This is good news, however, for anti-death penalty groups, who should be able to use the list of individuals "passionate about the way they value human life" to solicit funds from these suckers passionate individuals.

Been to Hooters? Thank a Republican!

Common Cause has compiled the definitive resource on all things DeLay. Murshed, formerly of the Dean campaign, sent this:

The House of Representatives today finds itself in an unprecedented situation. It has no functioning Ethics Committee at a time when allegations of misconduct are mounting fast against its most powerful leader and serial ethics violator, Tom DeLay (R-TX).

This is no coincidence.

How this came to be is a complicated story about DeLay, who has already been four times admonished by the Ethics Committee for abuse of power and other misconduct, and efforts by Republican leadership to shield him. It involves retaliation, threats, legislation, rules changes and a failure by many members of Congress to support accountability in the "People's House."

(Warning: If you've been anywhere near a full plate in the last hour, you might want to wait a while before reading the rest.)

Common Cause also has a blog. There they document the outrage, including this:

What does a comprehensive energy policy for the United States and Hooter's have in common? Not much. Yet, that is exactly what appeared in the version of the energy bill that came out of conference committee - subsidies to build, among other things, a Hooter's restaurant in Shreveport, Louisiana. The subsidy was called the "greenbonds" initiative and was not in either of the original House or Senate versions of the bill. Democrats were included in only two of the conference committee's meetings on the massive bill.

There's more, but can we take a moment to reframe this to our liking? (Remember the theme: these are reckless rightwing Republicans who can't be trusted with our money.)

In short, Republicans want to build Hooters with YOUR tax dollars. I like it. Simple, direct, with that talk-radio quality we all aspire to.

Frank Luntz would be proud.

Cost Containing the Culture of Life

Unless you've been adopted by the religious right as their right-to-life poster girl, you can bet the "Culture of Life" politicians have suddenly embraced doesn't apply to you. Even as the prayers ascend to heaven by way of Florida the prayerless are dying, as the Miami Herald reports:

Link: Agency probes group homes' deaths.

A federally funded watchdog group is investigating the recent deaths of four disabled Floridians amid an aggressive campaign by the state to cut millions of dollars from programs that provide medical care for disabled people in community settings. Two developmentally disabled adults who lived in group homes in Brandon, and two others under the care of The ARC in St. Lucie County, have died since October 2004, a month after the state required the operator of the two Brandon group homes to change the way residents received nursing care. A woman at one Brandon home developed such a severe infection at the site of her feeding tube that she has been hospitalized in intensive care since Feb. 13.

'We will be looking into these deaths,'' said Sylvia Smith, of the watchdog group, the Advocacy Center for Persons with Disabilities in Tallahassee. "This is a top priority, and it should be a top priority for the state.''

Where's Jeb Bush when you need him? I like to imagine him surrounded by moneybags, counting the millions the state has saved since hiring Maximus, Inc. (for $5.2 million) to find ways to cut costs. Instead of looking on the state's fine golf courses or in opulent beach communities for conspicuous consumption, they've aimed their ax on the most vulnerable:

In a recent report to lawmakers, APD officials said they anticipate Maximus will find $24 million in annual savings. The company's actions have been upheld in 97 percent of the appeals to state officials. Advocates for the disabled insist that the quality of medical care for disabled people in group homes has suffered since Maximus, and the state, in September 2004, began requiring group homes to pay for nursing care from the state's Medicaid Plan. That plan covers rotating nurses, not the more stable nursing care provided under a previous plan for disabled people. Reed said such patients, who most often have complex medical needs, require constant surveillance by nurses who are trained to recognize often subtle changes.

When I oversaw my mom's nursing home care, I saw how dangerous these temp nurses can be, especially for a patient who can't verbalize.  One gave my mom a handful of pills, not knowing she couldn't swallow them. She was given meds she didn't need, and taken off meds she DID need, because of unfamiliarity with her basic medical history. The corporate-owned nursing home, eager to cut costs, relied increasingly on "agency nurses" to replace long term nurses who quit for more lucrative nursing jobs (at hospitals where patients have health insurance, not at nursing homes that rely on Medicaid for their income).

But my mom's not the only one Jeb Bush doesn't pray for. These Florida residents are probably left out of his prayers too, as well as his budget:

•The Oct. 13, 2004, death of a 19-year-old man from aspiration pneumonia at the Rockwood group home. The condition typically occurs when liquid flows into the lungs of a person with a feeding disorder.

• On Dec. 10. 2004, a 55-year-old woman died after choking on a sandwich at a day training program in St. Lucie County.

• On Feb. 13, a 28-year-old woman at the Overland group home was placed in intensive care after being diagnosed with a severe infection at the base of her feeding tube. The woman remains in intensive care, with a ventilator. The November 2003 nursing report obtained by The Herald shows the woman, who has mental retardation and cerebral palsy, also had severe medical problems. The woman's feeding tube regularly leaked or became infected, and doctors replaced it frequently, records show.

• The Feb. 21, death of the 38-year-old man who was a client of The ARC of St. Lucie County.  

• The March 2 death of a 27-year-old man at the the Overland group home. Both advocates and the APD agree that his nursing care had been changed before he had a seizure Feb. 26. Middell, the group home's director, said the man's total nursing hours had been cut on Dec. 28 by about 53 percent.

But why pick on Jeb Bush? Other politicians joined the Culture of Life Cult, too. Are their prayers any more broadly distributed?

Not if they vote for this budget:

The President’s budget for fiscal year 2006 includes major proposals relating to Medicaid, the health care and long-term care program for low-income Americans that is jointly funded by the federal government and the states.  The Administration proposes to reduce net federal funding for Medicaid by $45 billion over the next ten years. These reductions would have significant implications for the program’s ability to provide health care coverage to low-income uninsured Americans and for states’ ability to finance their share of program costs. 

Many states are struggling to fund their share of Medicaid costs.  A number of states are responding by instituting changes that terminate coverage for groups of low-income beneficiaries (generally causing most such beneficiaries to become uninsured) or deny coverage for certain services that some beneficiaries — in some cases, those who are the sickest and require the most prescriptions or longest hospital stays — may need.  Proposals that would shrink the federal government’s contribution to state Medicaid costs without reducing Medicaid costs themselves would shift financial burdens to states. [From the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. Emphasis mine.]

Meanwhile, the Culture Club of Life keeps praying. Because, short of raising taxes on the wealthy, there's not much else to do, is there? (I wonder if they're taking applications for the next Culture of Life poster girl? I think my mom would look pretty cute on a poster. If Rep. DeLay would like to email me, we could talk legislation.)

What Would Going Jesus Do?

Who says Christians don't have a sense of humor? PenElayne sent me to Going Jesus, where I found The Passion of the Tchotchke  and the Stations of the Kitsch. (I have GOT to get me one of these!)

And you thought I would ignore my favorite holiday?!

Googling Terri Schiavo

I'm getting lots of Google hits from the search "Terri Schiavo democrats." Searchers are landing on my "Framing Terri Schiavo" post. Makes me wonder if the fears I expressed in that post are coming true.

I'm also getting hits from the search "poor Terri." Not really sure how to interpret that, except to say there's a lot of sympathy here for that poor woman.

Just for the record, I DO NOT speak for the Democratic Party, nor do I speak for any candidate for political office. I worked on several Democratic campaigns, as a volunteer and unpaid staff (they couldn't have fired me if they'd wanted to). So if you've come here to find ammunition to label Democrats as 'pro-death' I suggest you first examine your own views toward Medicaid, the death penalty, Social Security, stem cell research, funding for medical research, the environment, mandatory use of seat belts, gun control, workplace safety, sex ed, and I could go on, but I think you've got the picture. "Democrats are pro-life, including pro-quality of life." Google THAT.

Now that we've got that out of the way...

While you're here, you might want to check out these links:

Abstract Appeal is an impartial site from a Florida attorney who's documented the case from day one. Here's his collected info on the case—compelling reading, especially if you ever entertained the thought of law school.
Amanda at Pandagon covers the women's rights angles of the case.
Alas, a Blog has a lively discussion of the meaning of the CAT scan.
The LA Times discusses the hypocrisy of politicians eager to turn this into a political circus.
The Guardian mentions the decision of Robert Schindler, Terri's dad, to end life support for his mother.
And finally, Majikthese convinced me a few weeks ago that this case wasn't at all as the media and some of the radical elements have maintained. Until I read the facts she assembled, I too wondered if there might be some truth to her parents' assertions.

If you've managed to wade through all this and still don't have an opinion, can I interest you in some recipes?

Why Some Men Shouldn't Be Allowed Near Keyboards

There's been a discussion going on over at Big Brass Blog regarding some criticism A-list blogger Atrios received. (And pretty mild criticism, at that.) Most of the discussion was thoughtful, until this comment by Steve Gilliard:

But this is one of the most pathetic fucking discussions going right now. here's the deal: you do good work and not worry so much about who links to you or who notices you and you might build an audience.

Why are you wasting a second's energy on how atrios runs his blog? Why? Not cutting edge? Uh, do you know him, are you in his head?

I think this is really the bitching of people who don't have the talent or skill to actually stand out and do good work. The comments are more interesting than many of the people whining.

There is only one way to get noticed: write something people want to read.

If you can do that, people will read you. As it stands, this sad mewling about getting noticed doesn't inspire respect, but contempt.

Jesse's comments were worthy of the contempt I gave them. Because you people spend more time whining about getting noticed than doing anything to get noticed.

I thought it was hillarious he could expend so much time on Atrios instead of writing something someone would want to read.

You would be laughed out of a newsroom with this kind of argument. If you want to get noticed, stop worrying about Kos or Atrios and do good work.

And here's some advice: if you're so desperate to get noticed, cross post in a Kos diary. I love the writing there and pick up a lot of pieces from there for my site.

But I don't have any respect for anyone who is wasting time whining about which blog notices you and which doesn't. It's embarassing to watch and inspires my deepest contempt for the people bitching.

The people who are screaming are mediocre writers with unoriginal ideas, which is why they need to politick instead of working on being better writers.

Believe me, if you write strongly and clearly people will read you. If you just run the same old crap, no one will care. No one owes you anything and the respect you get, you earn. Try remembering that.

One other point: what makes you think you deserve notice? What makes you think your work is so good that it merits attention? Are you really saying anything not found in Kos's diaries.

I think if you whiners actually worked together and promoted each other, people might notice you. Don't wait for Atrios to save you, or anyone else. You don't need him to get seen, you need you to get seen, you need to bring something new to the table.

Until you do that, you will contiunue to be unhappy.

(Emphasis mine)

I don't usually post rubbish (okay, I've posted rubbish once or twice), and try to avoid misspelled words, but this floored my bullshit meter. I've seen far, far better writing even among the comments sections of the blogs he dismisses than on his site or on Eschaton. I used to teach creative writing to elementary kids, and any of them could write loops around most A-list bloggers, of which Steve seems poised to join, in a classic case of rewarding bad behavior. (Granted, good writing isn't what most people read blogs for; but the comment admonishes his critics to "write strongly and clearly." And, I guess, to use a lot of bad words.)

So, Steve Gilliard, get over yourself and try looking at a few blogs today with an open mind. You might be surprised when you find we've "worked together" and "promoted each other" and the results are what you'll find on Big Brass Blog and others: thoughtful, energetic, witty, cutting edge, well-designed, and sharply written posts by writers who "do good work."

And please, Steve, grab a dictionary the next time you post.

Forget Lawyers; It's Guns and Money

When I heard that yet another gun shooting had occurred in Minnesota, I thought for sure my liberal posse would mount a gun control Operation Rescue worthy of Randall Terry, but instead we've been waxing intellectual over poor Terri's right to die, trying to convince the stone cold clueless she has no brain when it's us who are acting brainless. (I agree with See the Forest on this one; forget polls, it's images people will remember come voting day. But I hope I'm wrong.)

So I was glad my friend and Indian Affairs adviser Laura Harris sent me this, by Indian Country Today writer Scott Richard Lyons:

There's an old Ojibwe saying: Gego baapiineminaken gidaabinoojiiyug. Never laugh at your children. That motto invokes a sacred Anishinaabe value: manaaji'idiwin, or deep respect. We are to respect others, no matter how young or weak or strange, in part because what goes around eventually comes around. This especially holds true for children. Not only because they have power - as elders will tell you, the only person who ever tricked the Trickster was a child - but also because that child will one day be an adult.

I thought of this ancient Ojibwe wisdom when I heard about the horrifying and tragic school shooting at Red Lake Nation. It was reported that during the assault the shooter, Jeff Weise, was waving his arms and laughing.

Laughing.

Who, I wondered, had laughed at him?

We haven't laughed; we've simply brushed off the problem of Native American teens. Would that we were spending half the energy we've spent this week understanding CAT scans on understanding the poverty that exists in our very own backyard, among America's first families. Sure, the radical right has usurped the Constitution, they've holy-rollered the courts. Our democracy will survive, but our children need life support, far more than our Constitution. As Lyons says,

What social institutions hold great promise and high expectations for Native teenagers? Schools? Businesses? Mass media? Government? No. As with other teens of color, in northern Minnesota Native kids are typically more feared than nurtured, more disdained than celebrated, and nearly always publicly discussed as carriers of problems, not potentials. One predictable result of this general lack of respect is low self-esteem. Little wonder that, as a Harvard study recently concluded, 1 out of 6 Native teenagers today has attempted suicide. Aside from perhaps family and friends, who in the larger society is acknowledging that their lives are worth living?

Let's talk about quality of life issues; thirty-nine percent of residents of Red Lake Indian Reservation live in poverty. Let's talk about health; diabetes is epidemic among Native Americans. Let's talk about separation of powers; states are attempting to usurp Indian sovereign status. Let's talk about respect; see above.

We criticize President Bush for failing to respond to the tragedy the way he did for the travesty in Florida; but us liberal bloggers haven't done much better.

There are a few exceptions: Wampum is collecting funds to help those affected by the tragedy at Red Lake Nation. Barbara at Mahablog has an excellent post on the topic. If there are more, please post them in comments below.

Welcome to the Culture of Life.

UPDATE: Amanda at Pandagon joins the posse.

Friday Cow Blogging

Calf Kindercare facility, in my backyard

Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest person in the world, able to gaze out my window at these guys (girls) every day, at least at this time of year. From November to mid-March, they didn't come 'round, and I feared they may have been, uh, served. But my foodie friends interviewed a gourmet dairy farmer in Guernsey and informed me that after November the grass isn't fit for eating.

I'm glad they're back, with their playful youth.

They'll Get Letters

Keith Olbermann at MSNBC has been asking some of the same questions I've been pondering from this side of the pond:

OLBERMANN:  Do you know where this money is coming from? The Schindlers can't possibly have afforded this on their own, can they?

MCGEE:  Well, Keith, my research group at Albany Medical College has been looking for the past couple of days into the question you just raised.  Namely, if there were 30,000 persistent vegetative state patients around the country, how is it that this one case attracted so much attention and so much litigation? And what we found is that on both sides of the aisle on this set of legal actions, there's been an enormous amount of money.  Some of it's actually been money to support lawyers but most of it has been gifts from large law firms and lobbyists to enable multitasking firms, the kind of thing we saw in the O.J. trial, on behalf, mostly, of the Schindlers.

OLBERMANN:  Do you know where that money came from?  Do you know how much it amounted to?

MCGEE:  Well, we don't know exactly how much it amounted to.  Because as I said most of is it what you would call in kind contribution by lawyers who, in essence, agree with the cause. So for example, among the representatives of Michael Schiavo's side, the American Civil Liberties Union most recently, and a number of different lawyers who work for firms that specialize in this sort of thing. But more interesting, the Schindlers have enlisted legal assistance that's amounted to millions of dollars at this point, mostly from national right to life associated groups.

Millions of dollars! Did someone utter "tort reform?" Don't be silly; that's not where the money comes from.  Shawn at Liquid List has poked around, and figured out how the Schindlers' attorney David Gibbs III can afford to sit around federal courthouses all day and file motions:

Link: The Hand That Feeds The Gibbs.

According to CLA's tax documents, somehow, it appears, the Christian Law Association is able to raise nearly $3 million a year. Of that amount, again according to their 2002 form 990 (tax form that must be filed by all 501c3 charities) available for viewing on Guidestar, $1.85 million went to pay for the services of Gibbs Law Firm, headed up by our and Terry Schiavo's parents' friend, and Secretary of the Christian Law Association, David Gibbs III. Click here to see the form (PDF), though you'll probably have to register first, after which you'll need to do a search for "Christian Law Association" and then click on the link for their 990.

Now I'm not saying anything shifty is going on here. Mostly what this information shows is that we have yet another lunatic fundamentalist organization with alarmingly good financial resources raising a ruckus for no good (to a normal person) reason. However, while the Christian Law Association provides... cost-free legal assistance to Bible-believing churches and Christians ...it does so by funneling nearly $2 million to the founder's son, who also happens to be the organization's corporate secretary.

Three million raised, from the gullible rapture-right! See what a little ingenuity and the U.S. postal service can do for you?

Not to be outdone by noted bloggists and journalists Olbermann and Shawn, I've done some sleuthing too. (There's a reason you come here, and I don't think it's for the recipes!) Using research skills honed by years of writing hopelessly abject fiction, I discovered the following, deep inside a hard drive somewhere in South Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla.:

Dear Supporter:

Our fight to save Terri, which, as you know, was unsuccessful due to the interference of God-hating liberal judges (addresses below), nevertheless cost us immeasurably in terms of the funds we need to continue our fight to save every fetus, and every future fetus (except, of course, for fetuses living in the area formerly known as Mesopotamia. God forsook it a long time ago, so don't look at me to save their sorry fetuses).

So that's why I'm soliciting your help TODAY. We URGENTLY need you to send whatever you can spare (considered a second mortgage?) to continue our battle against the God-hating liberal judges and those who side with Satan, i.e. Democrats in Congress and their abortionist leader, Howard Dean. And now that our fight includes life-sized fetuses, we need your help EVEN MORE. (Online donations gladly accepted, as are deeds to easily liquidated property.)

Please give whatever you can, and then ask your loved ones to give even more TODAY so that not a single fetus is lost.

In fetal love,
Randall Terry

PS I promise not a cent of your money will go to my hellborn ex-wife and our former fetuses.

This journalism stuff, it's a lot easier than writing fiction!

Spring Cleaning

I'm going to do this:

Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don't read women's magazines. Every March and April they're packed with "clean up and organize your life" articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action -- Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We'll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I'd rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.

Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year's resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes. (from Madeleine Begun Kane)

so that this:

Link: Woman Faces Hundreds Of Dollars In Fines For Messy Home.

A woman in Longwood is being fined $25 a day for not cleaning her home or yard, according to a Local 6 News report.

doesn't happen.

Wednesday Food Blogging: Some Granola with That Latte?

Granola goodness, sans Birkenstocks

I know, liberals and granola go together like, soy and latte. But my supply of cold cereal is running low, I can't face another bowl of cooked oatmeal, and there's nothing like the smell of warm granola to make you glad you're a Birkenstock wearing liberal.

Why bother to make your own, when Wild Oats stocks a dozen different blends in the bulk section alone?  Because you can. It takes 15 minutes to dig the ingredients out of the cupboard and toss them together, another five to clean up. In that time I'd barely have found my shoes, keys, and reusable bags.

(Of course, it's a moot point for me. Nothing even close to a Wild Oats or Whole Foods here, much less Vitamin Cottage. Yeah, I miss the States sometimes, usually when I'm in my kitchen looking for an ingredient like nutritional yeast.)

Here's how to feed your inner liberal:

Lefties Bark Up Wrong Tree: CAT Scanning No More Persuasive than Cat Blogging!

My reactions to the Terri Schiavo case have ranged from off the cuff: "Are they DAFT?" to fear: "What if they come for me next?" to philosophical: "Is it ethical to withdraw nutritional support in end of life cases?" (If not Congress better get busy: feeding tubes are withdrawn in thousands of patients, every day.)

Fortunately, here in Britain I can turn on the TV and see something else: we still have Camilla Parker-Bowles, with her fully functioning brain, to kick around. But from my travels around the vast American blogosphere, I couldn't help but stumble across sincere yet factually shaky, often grammatically incorrect attempts at justifying what to me looks a lot like wingnuttery taken to the extreme.

The folks involved in protesting the decision of the Florida courts (why is it always geographically and reality pried-off Florida? Can't we just sever the state from the life support the other 49 states provide?) are the same ones who protest at abortion clinics, who sign up for Randall Terry's Operation Rescue, who harass women at Planned Parenthood with posters of pretty little fetuses sucking their thumbs.

They're just ignorant, I thought at first. If only they knew the facts—that with no cerebral cortex, there is no chance any kind of therapy will ever help poor Terri. Nor is there any pain involved in ending her life through withdrawing nutritional supplementation—I watched my friend die this way, and she was at peace the entire time. (If not, you betcha I would have called up Tom DeLay to intervene on her behalf!)

But it's not ignorance of the facts; these people don't care that poor Terri has no functioning brain, that her cerebral cortex doesn't exist. In fact, that's exactly WHY they've chosen her for their right-to-life poster girl.

In poor Terri, they've found the perfect fetus-surrogate.

Here's a fully-formed fetus-like adult, who smiles, blinks, perhaps sucks her thumb, with help. She even stars in her very own DVD! If they can get a judge somewhere, anywhere—a congress will do even better—to declare a person without a cerebral cortex has a right to live despite the attempts of her husband (read "mother") to intervene, then they've won an important battle.

Poor Terri is planted right at the top of their slippery slope, perfectly poised to become a martyr if she is allowed to die, even better poised to become a precedent if she's allowed to live ("exist" might be a better word).

They haven't changed anyone's mind about a right to a dignified death—almost everyone would choose to end their life if they were in Terri's condition—but that's not their goal. Unfortunately, the actions of the "Rescue Terri" folks might make it harder for even someone with a living will to have their wishes carried out after their death—living wills don't take into account every contingency, and there's always the slim possibility someone might have changed their mind after signing a living will. (Arguments courtesy of bio-ethicist Hilzoy at Obsidian Wings.) Especially, it turns out, if you're a woman—Amanda at Pandagon has discovered female patients are more likely to have extraordinary end-of-life measures carried out, as it's assumed they need to be "nurtured."

Once again, those of us who inhabit reality are sent into the rabbit warren of facts, arguments, CAT scans and philosophy texts, but we might as well save our keyboards the stress. We won't convince the  zealots, and their leaders have other motives. (Imagine the drained bank accounts of those who sign the "petitions" to Save Terri after they're hit up for contributions to pay for Randall Terry's new house.) (Courtesy  World O'Crap.)

So today I'm going to go on with my hedonistic, reality-shackled life, and leave the arguing to the philosophers. But there is one thought I can't get out of my head:

Poor Terri.

Framing Terri Schiavo

I'm glad I'm not in the States, where I hear the news is consumed with the Terri Schiavo case. Poor woman. There she is, on national TV 24/7, with no makeup. I'd kill whoever did that to me.

But the purpose of this post isn't to sympathize with poor Terri. I do, or course, and like everyone who doesn't know her my immediate thought is, "what if it were me/my loved one?". How many people will be rushing this morning to their attorney's office to sign a DNR?

No, the purpose of this rant is to sympathize with the poor Democrats, who once again have been sandbagged by the Republicans.

But there's still hope to regain the high ground.

I read that 87% of Americans would not choose to prolong their own life if they were in similar circumstances. Is there any doubt that Democrats are on the right side on this argument? Yes. Because it's been FRAMED as "Democrats are pro-death". So the point of this is a reminder: do NOT let us be framed as "pro-death". We are "pro-dignity". The Republicans are "pro-Big Government intervention".  They are "anti-die-with-dignity". They are also "pro-death-if-you-can't-afford-treatment".

I wonder if the Republicans may not have dug their own grave on this one, so to speak. Americans have a keen eye for political grandstanding, and at least the ones who don't watch Fox News will be overcome by common sense. They'll see the Democrats as opposing grandstanding, not opposing life (or what passes for life in poor Terri's case) as long as we use words like "dignity" and "government intervention" and remind people that Bush is "pulling the plug" on millions of Medicaid recipients who still have fully functioning brains.

So, my advice to Democrats is to let the Republicans hang themselves on this one. Let them shame themselves by usurping this poor woman's image for their own politics; we'll all thank her when Americans show their disgust at the polls 18 months from now.

The rest of you, proceed as calmly as possible to your state's official website for advanced directives (Google "advance directives" and your state) and download a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) statement. Sign it, and place it on your refrigerator (EMTs will look there for any advance directive before performing CPR). These forms are different for each state; here's the one for Michigan. If you need some information before making the decision, go here and see the advice Wisconsin has regarding advance directives and CPR.

Or, if nothing else, have your attorney draw up some sort of directive making it punishable by, oh, 50 years in Martha Stewart's prison for anyone to show you on TV without your express written permission.

Because you never know when Republicans might choose YOU for their pro-life poster girl/boy.

UPDATE: The best comment I've seen on poor Terri's medical condition was actually a comment, not a post, but now Ampersand at Alas a Blog has given it post status. Read the comments to see the qualifications of the writer.

Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses?

It's a slow news day in the U.K., so it's a good thing I'm not above reporting gossip:

Link: Daily Mail: Will a British divorcee cost 'Wolfie' his job?.

Influential members of staff at the international organisation have complained to its board that Paul Wolfowitz, a married father of three, is so besotted with Oxford-educated Shaha Riza he cannot be impartial.

Extraordinarily, they claim she played a key role in pushing the 61-year-old Pentagon official into the Iraq War. And the row comes amid claims that Wolfowitz's wife Clare once warned George Bush of the threat to national security any infidelity by her husband could cause.

A British citizen - at 51, eight years younger than Wolfowitz's wife - Ms Riza grew up in Saudi Arabia and was passionately committed to democratising the Middle East when she allegedly began to date Wolfowitz.

Could indiscriminate boinking bring down yet another powerful figure? No, I'm not talking about Bill Clinton; there's a more recent analogy. Paul Wolfowitz, the architect of the Iraq war, bears a passing resemblance to David Blunkett, the architect of homewrecking. (Whilst boinking Mrs. Quinn, Blunkett, the former Labour Home Secretary, not only fathered her child but fast tracked her nanny's visa. It was that visa thing that cost him his job, though, not the boinking. Anyone know if Wolfie's lady friend has a nanny?)

The rest of the British press is taking a more subdued tack, arguing that "Warmongering Wolfowitz isn't qualified to clean the dustbin, much less the World Bank:"

Link: Guardian Unlimited: The poodle and the Wolf.

Wolfowitz is hardly even a champion of the values on which the bank itself was founded. He is neither well placed to help it meet its early goal of helping countries rebuild, nor its later one of poverty alleviation. Wolfowitz recently told the US congress that war-ravaged Iraq should pay not only for its reconstruction but also for the war itself out of its oil revenues.

Someone made the suggestion we should appoint Bono to head the World Bank. I'd go with that (although, what's the world coming to when you have to look to the rock world to find a World Bank head who's boink-free?). A guy who sings "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is probably just the person to explain to Africa that we're calling in our loans.

And if the World Bank runs out of cash, why, Bono can just organize another U2 world tour, only instead of Ticketmaster charging the usual bazillion dollars a ticket, concert goers would agree to take on the debt of a third world country.

Even better than the real thing!