Vote for my dog. She'll keep you safe from terrorist squirrels.
Not to be outdone, my dog has decided to throw her hat—err, collar—in the ring as well. (If you know anything about my dog, you know she pretty much lives for attention, and she sees how much attention we pay to politicians around here.)
Plus, politicians get lots of treats, and she wants a piece of that action. So she's decided to run. Not for mayor—that's a ceremonial position here, one you have to be bred for. No, she figures she'll be most effective serving on the Local Council.
She's got a pretty good platform which, as her communications director, I've cleaned up a bit. (Like most dogs, spelling is not her strong point.) Keep reading to find out what she plans to do if elected.