KathyF: The Interview

There's this blog thing going around, which I first saw at Imperatrix's place and then at KathyR's. A blogger answers 5 interview questions, submitted by the original blogger. (Sort of like Original Sin, only not as much fun.) After being interviewed, a blogger invites others to play along, and interviews anyone who asks.

Since those two imparted such interesting details about their lives, I figured I'd play along too, though I warn you, my life is much more mundane. I didn't steal anyone's husband or fiance, or even anyone's lunch. I did once express outrage about a fellow PTO board member who stole a school computer.

I'll answer the first question today, and hopefully one a day afterward.

KathyR asks:

1. You're living in the UK now, and have lived in New Mexico and Louisiana that I know of. Have you lived anywhere else? Do you have a favorite among the places you've lived? (Two, two, two questions in one.)

Glad you asked, KathyR! I have lived in other places, as one does when one is married to an Air Force officer.

We started out in Louisiana, at a small base that was an early victim of the base closure list. I had a baby there, which was nice since my in-laws live nearby and my mom wasn't too far either. But I wanted to see the world, especially the parts of the world where "alligator" was considered a zoo creature rather than a menu item.

From there we went to Austin, Texas. Shall I tell you how much I hated Austin? (KathyR: Why sure, KathyF!) I know, it's supposed to be the best place to live in Texas, some say the South, but it reminded me of a small town wearing its father's grown-up shoes. The first question anyone asked upon meeting me was invariably "Where did YOU go to high school?!" as if they would know. And as if it mattered. I worked at the Texas state capitol (proofreading the budget during the time Ann Richards was treasurer) and I was appalled at how many women wore furs. And how that was a huge topic of conversation among the secretaries in the office. (A woman's worth seemed directly tied to the amount her husband spent on her coyote jacket.) This, understandably, left me with a bad impression of Texans in general, and Austinites in particular.

Or maybe it was because the neighbors never invited me along on their outings (despite the fact we had toddlers the same age). Or maybe it was because we lived just outside the city limits, and therefore couldn't use the library. (I never liked that show Austin City Limits because of the painful memories.) Or maybe it was the strange looks the neighbors gave us after they saw my dark-skinned in-laws visit. (This was also the first time I'd ever seen racism directed at Hispanics rather than blacks.)

It was a relief to finally move to Dayton, Ohio. The neighbors were much friendlier, in fact, it was the first time I had black neighbors (but not the last). We lived in a middle class neighborhood in a so-so school district, but we owned our own house and finally got to choose paint colors. (Peach and green. What was I thinking?) I sent the girls to a co-op nursery school (the same one Kim and Kelly Deal went to, for you Breeder fans) which meant I helped teach. I loved that, and frankly, learned as much as the kids did. (I'll never forget the time when I was 8 months pregnant and my assigned lesson was "Stop, Drop and Roll.")

We spent 5 years in Dayton. My youngest daughter was born there, my oldest went to first grade there. I got involved in the PTO, and helped to campaign for a school tax increase. (And learned how municipalities offer corporations tax relief in order to entice them to a community.)

My husband went off to Korea, leaving the girls and me alone in Dayton for a year. That's when I learned to appreciate wine from a box.

He came back just in time for us to move to Madison, Wisconsin. This answers the second part of your question, KathyR. Madison has many times been proclaimed the best place to live by some magazine or survey group, and it's earned the honor. The libraries? Excellent, and only a bike ride from our house. (And next door to the brewery!) The schools? The finest anywhere. The shopping? I once counted five educational toy stores within a couple of miles from my house. There were also a huge number of book shops. The eating? This is where I became vegetarian, due to the abundance of veggie food options, including a bookshop with a veggie restaurant inside! I also discovered Matt's Cookies, and the best New Orleans food outside of Crescent City.

I became even more involved with my girls' schools in Madison, and that's also where I took up writing. (Those libraries!) I worked for a while (believe it or not, helping to edit an engineering encyclopedia) and our house became the hangout for all the grad students from the Solar Lab. Or at least the place they came for a home cooked meal, just like sort of like Mom made. Or maybe it was our woodstove that attracted them; despite subzero temperatures, our house was never cold. (Cue twangy music here.)

The only problem I had with Madison is some Madisonians took themselves a little too seriously. Academics was a competitive sport there, not just at the university level. Some people needed a big dose of laissez les bons temps roullez. Again, we had black neighbors (coincidentally, from Louisiana) who became my daughter's de facto grandparents. Their granddaughter spent lots of time at my house, which never would have happened when I was growing up in the Deep South. I was so glad that my daughters had opportunities I never had, to grow up in an environment free of prejudice.

After Madison, where we clung long after my husband's job had required him to move back to Dayton (it's only a 7 hour commute!), we joined him in Dayton again. This time was different. We lived on base, and the schools were horrible, in fact, I ended up homeschooling Daughter Number Two, while Daughter Number One offered advice to her young English teacher and learned that not everyone comes from a nice middle class family where the parents shop at Eddie Bauer and drive Swedish cars. I'll never forget the time the principal told me there was no need to teach these kids algebra, since most of them would end up working at GM. All the math they needed to know was how to balance their checkbooks. I heard that sort of thing a lot from school "professionals." Prejudice, I learned, doesn't only have to do with the color of one's skin.

We were only there a year and a half, and were quite glad to leave. But not for greener pastures, not literally, anyway.

There were a lot of things to love about Albuquerque—most especially the people, who were the best anywhere. Absolutely no detectable hang ups, and I've gotten pretty good at detecting pretentiousness. Albuquerque is as real as it gets.

But I never felt completely at home in the high desert. The mountains frightened me, looming so high and ominous against the morning horizon. And I always missed the green. I was born in Louisiana, remember, and rock gardens never really seemed right to me.

But I loved my life there, and hated to leave.

That brings me here, and you know the rest, right KathyR? (Finally, those green pastures!)

More than you wanted to know, I'm sure.

Tomorrow: Why did you become a Flake?

Comments

[niCk(MemBeth)]

I did a post a couple of weeks ago about the places I've been. Albuquerque was my favorite place to live. I would like to retire in the Taos area. I love hiking the mountains, and I have never seen more beautiful sunsets than when I was in ABQ. And you are right about the people there being unpretentious. We had a house in front of Lynnwood Park, and every evening I was there with Lex, my Golden Retriever, to watch the sun go down. Every sunset was unique. I miss that place.

[KathyR]

The first time I visited my brother in Louisiana was in the springtime. Everthing is green and flowering and showing off. If a tree falls in Louisiana, it just leans up against another tree.

You've had quite a vagabond existence. Any idea where you'll be after your stay in England is done?

[Imperatrix]

I always figured I'd move around every few years. The Consort is more of a "set down roots" type. When we passed the 2-year mark here, I had a bit of a freak-out. Now, we've been here 7 years. You can see why I am SO EXCITED about sabbatical coming up.

I'm sure there have been lots of drawbacks for you and your family to moving around so often, but I envy you.

[nancy]

We moved from Okla City to Albuquerque about 8 years ago, partially BECAUSE of those mountains... and those gorgeous sunsets. We do miss the green and abundant water, but not the wind or the mosquitoes. Wow, Kathy, I knew about Louisiana, Wisconsin, and Ohio, but not Austin... I never met anyone before who didn't like Austin. However, I think I'd hate the TX humidity... another reason we left Oklahoma. I love Albuquerque. Everything except the nukes.

[Islander]

I enjoy food blogs - there are many (as we all know) but some shine more than others. 'What Do I Know?" is one I check in on regularly. It so good to learn more about the person behind the blog, and - in this instance - what a fascinating tale, to date! Many thanks - kia ora.

[Islander]

I enjoy food blogs - there are many (as we all know) but some shine more than others. 'What Do I Know?" is one I check in on regularly. It so good to learn more about the person behind the blog, and - in this instance - what a fascinating tale, to date! Many thanks - kia ora.

[barb]

Aw, does this mean the former KathyS, who is now KathyF, isn't returning to the high desert? Come on back - you know you miss the 98 degree summer daze. But it's a dry heat....

[TChem]

Madison's a tricky place, and how you describe it is just so. (That's where I am right now, finishing up grad school.) If it was any closer to my family I'd probably stay. The farmer's markets alone are worth the price of admission.

[Julie]

Imagine my surprise when we went to China and learned that the Chinese are racist, too. The Mongolians think the Han are stupid. The Han think the Mongolians are stupid and the Uyghurs are criminals. Before that, when we moved to NM, I learned that Hispanics are racist, too. I used to think it was just a white and black American thing. Nope, it's everywhere.