This Chatty Kathy won't be appearing on your holiday platter, or in my back yard.
For Thanksgiving this year, I have ordered a turkey. What's a near-vegan like me doing ordering turkey, you ask? I went to the Farm Sanctuary website, where I'd heard there are turkeys up for adoption. I looked at the adoptees, and one really spoke to me. Her name was Kathy (!!) and here's what it said about her:
Kathy, known for her sweet but chatty nature, is the perfect ambassador to spread the word about compassionate, cruelty-free living!
A turkey after my own heart, and now an honorary member of the Chatty Kathy Club.
However, a funny thing happened after I'd paid my adoption fee. I got an email saying "my order would be in the mail shortly."
What's this?! I thought it was one of those pretend adoptions, where you don't really have to bother raising that panda/star/rainforest/endangered species you've adopted, but maybe not...
My daughter, when I told her, reacted typically: "Have you told DAD? Where are you going to PUT a turkey, Mom?"
I thought maybe the garden, if I built a little shed. Something more spacious than the shoebox Butterball normally provides.
But today, my hopes for a companion turkey were squashed when I got a card in the mail, with an adoption "certificate" and a lovely photo of Kathy. She will continue to live at a sanctuary in California, which is probably for the best. Me, I'll decide what to go about stuffing this year, something that could never be called chatty, preferably.
You can go to Adopt-a-Turkey.org and adopt your own turkey. Just don't plan to put her in the back yard.