In MIssissippi, a woman has been sent to jail for three years for applying for food stamps:
Thanks to a federal ban on food stamps for people with felony drug convictions, people like McLemore are out of luck when it comes to getting assistance with putting food on their tables. Though states can opt out of the ban, those that don’t (like Mississippi) deny food stamps even to individuals who have already served their sentences or overcome previous addictions. It’s true that McLemore’s past isn’t perfect — she has four felony drug convictions and one misdemeanor, which place her firmly in the category of people the federal government has declared unfit to receive public benefits. Hence, faced with the prospect of being unable to feed her family, McLemore lied on her application.
Manwhile, Congress has declared pizza a vegetable:
The spending bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. The department’s proposed guidelines would have attempted to prevent that.
The changes had been requested by food companies that produce frozen pizzas, the salt industry and potato growers. Some conservatives in Congress have called the push for healthier foods an overreach, saying the government shouldn’t be telling children what to eat.
Presidential candidate and former pizza executive Herman Cain, who declared in an interview with GQ that pizzas piled high with vegetables are "sissies", might have something to say about that, but I'm not sure I'd want to listen:
Chris Heath: What can you tell about a man by the type of pizza that he likes?
Herman Cain: [repeats the question aloud, then pauses for a long moment] The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is.
Chris Heath: Why is that?
Herman Cain: Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance. [laughs]
Devin Gordon: Is that purely a meat question?
Herman Cain: A manly man don't want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.
(I would prefer a presidential candidate who could form grammatically correct sentences that don't misuse the word "don't". I mean really, if you can make a pizza, surely you can string words together in a proper fashion. No?)
Perhaps Herman Cain could provide some pizza for the lady in Mississippi. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if it was piled high with veggies, and our manly Congress would definitely approve.